When we keep running towards our goals, problems stop coming towards us. When we stop, they start....
Carry a heart that never hates,
Carry a smile that never fades,
Carry a touch that never hurts and always
Carry a relationship that never breaks!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Good Morning India!
| HRD Notice of a company to employees! Dear STAFF, Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. *********** 1) TRANSPORTATION: It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise. C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. *********** 2) ANNUAL LEAVE : Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! Said 1 employee). - They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs. *********** 3) LUNCH BREAK: A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. *********** 4) SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. - If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. *********** 5) SURGERY : As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. - You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. - To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. *********** 6) INTERNET USAGE : All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges Will be deducted from your salary. - Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection. Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else. Best Regards, HRD |
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Very interesting facts!
France has no mosquitos!
Afganisthan has no railways!
King Louis XIV was born with two front teeth!
It requires 72 muscles to speak a single word!
Group of owles is called a parliament!
An Ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain!
Education is a word with all vowels!
Black wales are born white!
The state of Florida is bigger than England!
Snake venom has 90% proteins!
Afganisthan has no railways!
King Louis XIV was born with two front teeth!
It requires 72 muscles to speak a single word!
Group of owles is called a parliament!
An Ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain!
Education is a word with all vowels!
Black wales are born white!
The state of Florida is bigger than England!
Snake venom has 90% proteins!
Helpful thoughts!
Feel the pleasure of life every second! Never be angry or sad! Because every 1 minute of your sadness you lose 60 seconds of happiness....!
Success will never lower its standard to acommodate us. We have to raise our standard to achieve it. For every bird, God provides food, but not ........in its nest!
Lord Buddha left his palace in search of peace! And we are all in search of palace at the cost of peace!!!
Success will never lower its standard to acommodate us. We have to raise our standard to achieve it. For every bird, God provides food, but not ........in its nest!
Lord Buddha left his palace in search of peace! And we are all in search of palace at the cost of peace!!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Love n Maths ...... A letter !
My Dear SweetHeart,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.
There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set.
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.
There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set.
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
About your Cellphone
Would like to know your mobile is original or not?!!
Type *#06#
After you enter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits:
43 4 5 6 6 1 0 6 7 8 9 4 3 5
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was Assembly on
Emirates which is very Bad quality :(
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that mean it¢s manufactured
in Germany which is not bad
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it¢s manufactured in
Finland which is Good
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that mean it was manufactured in
original factory which is the best Mobile Quality ...
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that mean it was Assembly on
Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and very dangerous for health!!!
Type *#06#
After you enter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits:
43 4 5 6 6 1 0 6 7 8 9 4 3 5
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was Assembly on
Emirates which is very Bad quality :(
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that mean it¢s manufactured
in Germany which is not bad
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it¢s manufactured in
Finland which is Good
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that mean it was manufactured in
original factory which is the best Mobile Quality ...
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that mean it was Assembly on
Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and very dangerous for health!!!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't#9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
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