Law of:-
Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
When I asked God !
When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face
When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve
When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People
When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others
God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face
When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve
When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People
When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others
God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed
Some Humorous Sign Ads :-
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap...........no strings attached.
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
20 Years !
My friend Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack.
"Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah."
"We'll try," he replied compassionately.
In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.
Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."
"We'll do our best," he replied.
And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding.
Ten years passed. Ada visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you:
Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's bar mitzvah?"
"Yes."
"And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?"
"Yes."
"Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress."
"Yes?"
"It has a 20-year guarantee..."
"Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah."
"We'll try," he replied compassionately.
In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.
Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."
"We'll do our best," he replied.
And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding.
Ten years passed. Ada visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you:
Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's bar mitzvah?"
"Yes."
"And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?"
"Yes."
"Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress."
"Yes?"
"It has a 20-year guarantee..."
Friday, April 10, 2009
Good Morning India !
CONGRATULATIONS:-
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,
if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,
if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Monday, March 30, 2009
10 Interesting Facts about NOKIA !!!
1) The ringtone "Nokia tune" is actually based on a 19th century guitar work named "Gran Vals" by Spanish musician Francisco Tárrega. The Nokia Tune was originally named "Grande Valse" on Nokia phones but was changed to "Nokia Tune" around 1998 when it became so well known that people referred to it as the "Nokia Tune."
2) The world's first commercial GSM call was made in 1991 in Helsinki over a Nokia-supplied network, by Prime Minister of Finland Harri Holkeri, using a Nokia phone.
3) Nokia is currently the world's largest digital camera manufacturer, as the sales of its camera-equipped mobile phones have exceeded those of any conventional camera manufacturer.
4) The "Special" tone available to users of Nokia phones when receiving SMS (text messages) is actually Morse code for "SMS". Similarly, the "Ascending" SMS tone is Morse code for "Connecting People," Nokia's slogan. The "Standard" SMS tone is Morse code for "M" (Message).
6) In Asia, the digit 4 never appears in any Nokia handset model number, because 4 is considered unlucky in many parts of Southeast/East Asia.
7) Nokia was listed as the 20th most admirable company worldwide in Fortune's list of 2006 (1st in network communications, 4th non-US company).
8. Unlike other modern day handsets, Nokia phones do not automatically start the call timer when the call is connected, but start it when the call is initiated. (Except for Series 60 based handsets like the Nokia 6600)
9) Nokia is sometimes called aikon (Nokia backwards) by non-Nokia mobile phone users and by mobile software developers, because "aikon" is used in various SDK software packages, including Nokia's own Symbian S60 SDK.
10) The name of the town of Nokia originated from the river which flowed through the town. The river itself, Nokianvirta, was named after the old Finnish word originally meaning sable, later pine marten. A
An Interesting History Lesson !!!
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
*********
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
*********
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
*********
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
*********
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
*********
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
*********
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
*********
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
*********
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
*********
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
*********
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
*********
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
*********
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
*********
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
*********
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
*********
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
*********
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
*********
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
*********
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
*********
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
*********
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
*********
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
*********
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
*********
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
*********
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
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