Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
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Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
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Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
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Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .
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Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
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Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
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Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
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Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
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Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
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Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!
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Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
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George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
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Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders
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Sunday, April 12, 2009
Liquid Prices !
Over the weekend, I filled up my car's fuel tank, and I thought fuel has become really expensive after the recent price hike. But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and I felt a little better.
To know why, see the results below ? you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are !
Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs 36.08 per litre
Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs 52 per litre
Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs 20 = Rs 61 per litre
Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs 20 = Rs 200 per litre
Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs 160 = Rs 320 per litre
Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs 165 = Rs 413 per litre
Mouthwash Listerine 100 ml Rs 45 = Rs 450 per litre
Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs 75 = Rs 500 per litre
Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs 57 = Rs 570 per litre
Evian water 500 ml Rs 330 = Rs 660 per litre
Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs 15 = Rs 1000 per litre
Coffee at a 5*hotel 150 ml Rs 175 = Rs 1167 per litre
Old Spice after shave 100 ml Rs 175 = Rs 1750 per litre
Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs 68 = Rs 2720 per litre
To know why, see the results below ? you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are !
Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs 36.08 per litre
Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs 52 per litre
Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs 20 = Rs 61 per litre
Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs 20 = Rs 200 per litre
Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs 160 = Rs 320 per litre
Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs 165 = Rs 413 per litre
Mouthwash Listerine 100 ml Rs 45 = Rs 450 per litre
Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs 75 = Rs 500 per litre
Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs 57 = Rs 570 per litre
Evian water 500 ml Rs 330 = Rs 660 per litre
Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs 15 = Rs 1000 per litre
Coffee at a 5*hotel 150 ml Rs 175 = Rs 1167 per litre
Old Spice after shave 100 ml Rs 175 = Rs 1750 per litre
Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs 68 = Rs 2720 per litre
Oh, Those Darn Lawyers !!!
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
''Help me find my ball. Look over there,'' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces.
''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?''
''What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!''
''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
''Help me find my ball. Look over there,'' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces.
''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?''
''What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!''
''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
Words of Wisdom !
"Focused will is incredible. If you have a dream and you don't give up no matter what obstacles come up, then life's problems will fall away and you will get what you want. It happens. It works." ~~ Yanni*******
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." ~~ Bernice Johnson Reagon
*******
"To be successful you must accept all challenges that come your way. You can't just accept the ones you like." ~~ Mike Gafka
*******
"Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above it." ~~ Washington Irving
*******
"The obstacles you face are... mental barriers which can be broken by adopting a more positive approach." ~~ Clarence Blasier
*******
Secret of Success !
A young man asked Socrates the secret of Success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met.
Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river.
When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The man struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until he started turning blue.
The young man struggled hard and finally managed to get out and the first thing he did was to gasp and take deep breath. Socrates asked 'What you wanted the most when you were there?' The man replied 'Air'.
Socrates said 'that's the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted air, you will get it. There is no other secret'.
Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river.
When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The man struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until he started turning blue.
The young man struggled hard and finally managed to get out and the first thing he did was to gasp and take deep breath. Socrates asked 'What you wanted the most when you were there?' The man replied 'Air'.
Socrates said 'that's the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted air, you will get it. There is no other secret'.
Phone call!
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"
"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight."
The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.
"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."
"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"
"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"
"No, this is 232-1374."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."
There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?
"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"
"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight."
The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.
"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."
"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"
"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"
"No, this is 232-1374."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."
There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?
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