B- Born in
A- Africa to
M- Manage the
A- Americans
A man once went to see a doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.
"Doctor my whole body hurts me," he moaned. The doctor asked him to show exactly where the pain was.
The man explained, "When I touch my shoulder, it hurts. When I touch my back it hurts. When I touch my legs, they hurt."
The doctor did a thorough examination and told the man- "Sir, there is nothing wrong with your body. Your finger is broken. That is why it hurts wherever you touch. Get your finger plastered, rest it for a couple of weeks and all of your pains will disappear."!!
While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. That's my son over there, she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.
He's a fine looking boy, the man said. That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater. Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. What do you say we go, Todd
Todd pleaded, Just five more minutes, Dad. Please Just five more minutes. The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content.
Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. Time to go now Again Todd pleaded, Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.
The man smiled and said, O.K.
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a Pole Which she carried across her neck.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot Arrived only half full.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate The table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to Grace the house."
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good In them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell The flowers on your side of the path!
1. Regular naps prevent old age... Especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask him for a Phone Call.
Shop-owner replied Sweety this is no a STD, but you can do one call.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"