The Wood Cutter

One day a woodcutter took his grandson into the forest for his first experience in selecting and cutting oak trees. These they would later sell to the boat builders.
As they walked along, the woodcutter explained that the purpose of each tree is contained in its natural shape: some are straight for planks, some have the proper curves for the ribs of a boat, and some are tall for masts.
The woodcutter told his grandson that by paying attention to the details of each tree, and with experience in recognizing these characteristics, someday he too might become the woodcutter of the forest.
A little way into the forest, the grandson saw an old oak tree that had never been cut. The boy asked his grandfather if he could cut it down because it was useless for boat building - there were no straight limbs, the trunk was, short and gnarled, and the curves were going the wrong way. "We could cut it down for firewood," the grandson said. "At least then it will be of some use to us." The woodcutter replied that for now they should be about their work cutting the proper trees for the boat builders; maybe later they could return to the old oak tree.
After a few hours of cutting the huge trees, the grandson grew tired and asked if they could stop for a rest in some cool shade. The woodcutter took his grandson over to the old oak tree, where they rested against its trunk in the cool shade beneath its twisted limbs.
After they had rested a while, the woodcutter explained to his grandson the necessity of attentive awareness and recognition of everything in the forest and in the world. Some things are readily apparent, like the tall, straight trees; other things are less apparent, requiring closer attention, like recognition of the proper curves in the limbs. And some things might initially appear to have no purpose at all, like the gnarled old oak tree.
The woodcutter stated, "You must learn to pay careful attention every day so you can recognize and discover the purpose God has for everything in creation. For it is this old oak tree, which you so quickly deemed useless except for firewood, that now allows us to rest against its trunk amidst the coolness of its shade.
"Remember, grandson, not everything is as it first appears. Be patient, pay attention, recognize, and discover."

Good Morning India!

Generation Gap

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one !", the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.
"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, BPS, light-speed processing .... And..."
...pausing to take another drink of beer.... The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young, so we invented them. Now, you - arrogant little shit - what are you doing for the next generation?"

Laws of Life !!!

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Good Morning India!

Rabbit's Ph.D. Thesis

Scene It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox "What are you working on?"
Rabbit "My thesis."
Fox "Hmmm. What's it about?"
Rabbit "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes." (incredulous pause)
Fox "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
Rabbit "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf "What's that you're writing?"
Rabbit "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves." (loud guffaws)
Wolf "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Scene: inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth. Moral: It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn't matter what you use for data. What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

Letter Shufflers:-

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
Shuffled to:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR
Shuffled to:
SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA
Shuffled to:
ARAB DEATH


PRINCESS DIANA
Shuffled to:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
Shuffled to:
NICE SILKY WOMAN


DORMITORY:
Shuffled to:
DIRTY ROO M


PRESBYTERIAN:
Shuffled to:
BEST IN PRAYER


ASTRONOMER:
Shuffled to:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
Shuffled to:
A ROPE ENDS IT


THE EYES:
Shuffled to:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
Shuffled to:
HE BUGS GORE


THE MORSE CODE:
Shuffled to:
HERE COME DOTS


SLOT MACHINES:
Shuffled to:
CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY:
Shuffled to:
IS NO AMITY


ELECTION RESULTS:
Shuffled to:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


SNOOZE ALARMS:
Shuffled to:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


A DECIMAL POINT:
Shuffled to:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
Shuffled to:
THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
Shuffled to:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
Shuffled to:
WOMAN HITLER

Good Morning India!

True Friend

A true friend is someone
who reaches for ur hand
& touches ur heart.

I'll be ur friend

When ur down, I'll be there to cheer u up.
When ur tired, I'll be there to lift u up.
I'll be ur friend no matter what!

A friend is a

A friend is a push when you have stopped,
a chat when u r lonely,
a guide when u r searching,
a smile when u r sad,
a song when u r glad.

Friendship is not collection

Friendship is not collection of hearts
but it is selection of hearts.
All friends r not true.
But true friends r very few! Like you.

A Friend

What is a friend?
She looks out 4 u,
inspires u,
laughs with u,
cries with u,
understands u,
guides u and walks with u.
That's what a friend is... u.

How Long

How long shall v b friends?
Do u want a clue?
As long as stars twinkle in the sky,
till the water runs dry
& till the day I die.
We will b friends.

Good Morning India!

What do we build in our lives?

Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a conflict.
Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's tool box.
"I'm looking for a few days' work" he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?" "Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you."
"Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor; in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll do him one better."
"See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence --an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore."
The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."
The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.
About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward them, his hand outstretched. "You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand.
They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.
"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, but I have many more bridges to build.

Good Morning India!

And finally GOD created MAN

GOD created the DONKEY and told him, 'You will work tireless from sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!'
The DONKEY answered, 'I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!' and GOD gave him 20 years.
GOD created DOG and told him ' You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25years, You will be a DOG!'
The DOG answered 'GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.
GOD created the MONKEY and told him, 'you will jump from branch to branch you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!'
The MONKEY answered ' GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.
Finally,
GOD created MAN and told him, 'you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.
The MAN answered, GOD I will be a man but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years that the DONKEY refused, the 15 years that the DOG didn't want and the 10 years that the MONKEY refused ?'
That was exactly what GOD did, and since then:
MAN lives 20 years like a MAN, then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back. Then, when his children leave he spends 15 years like DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets old, retires and spends 10 years like a MONKEY, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren!

Good Morning India!

The Wise Songbird

Once upon a time there was a golden songbird that lived in a beautiful garden. It spent all its days singing the loveliest songs to the honour of its maker and the delight of all the people who heard it.
But the keeper of the garden, who was a foolish and greedy man, coveted the little songster, and one day he made a cunning net in which he snared it. The little bird begged the man to release him and promised to tell him three great secrets if only he would let him go. Now the gardener really was a very greedy man and rubbing his hands together, he eagerly released the bird.
Then the songbird told him it's three great secrets:Never believe all that you hear; Never regret what you have never lost, and never throw away that which you have in your keeping.
The gardener was furious when he heard this and said he had known these so-called 'secrets' since he was a little child and shouted that the bird had tricked him. But the songbird quietly replied that if the man had really known these three secrets, or only the last of them, he would never have let him go.
Then the bird added:"I have a most precious jewel weighing over three ounces hidden inside me and whoever possesses that marvellous stone will have every wish granted."
On hearing this, the keeper roared like a lion and cursed himself for setting the songster free. But the little bird only added fuel to his rage by explaining that since he weighed no more than half an ounce at most, as anyone with eyes could plainly see, how was it possible that a gem weighing more than three ounces could be hidden within it's tiny body?
At that the man tore his hair and lunged at the bird in a towering rage, but the little songbird flew to a nearby branch and added sweetly:"Since you never had the jewel in your hands you are already regretting what you never lost, and believing what I told you, you threw it away by setting me free."
Then the little songbird told the man to study well these three great secrets and so become as wise as the bird himself!

Good Morning India!

The Touchstone

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.
The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

Words to live by Zen Sarcasm!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Working with the Vista Index:-

The new search capabilities in Windows Vista are certainly a significant step up from those in Windows 2000 and Windows XP. For once, you can actually find what you're looking for in a reasonable amount of time. By default, however, the new Vista search feature only indexes the partition where the operating system is installed, which is usually the C: drive. That's fine, unless you have a second partition or second hard drive you use to store your data files. In that case, you have to manually add the second hard drive to the search index. Luckily, it's only a two step process!
Step 1: Turn On the Search Indexing for the Second Hard Drive/Partition
Double click on your My Computer icon, right click on the drive and choose Properties. Then check the box that says "Index this drive for faster searching." Finally, click OK.

For some strange reason, that doesn't actually add the drive to the index, so you have to perform one more step.
Step 2: Add the Drive to the Indexing Options
Go to Start, Control Panel and click on Indexing Options. In the dialogue box, you'll see a list of current locations that are indexed by the Indexing service. Click on the Modify button and check off the second partition or hard drive you want indexed (for example, D:, E:, etc).
If you don't see the drive you're looking for, make sure you press the "Show all locations" button at the bottom of the window. You should then see all of the possible choices:

That's it! Windows Vista will then begin indexing the new location and results from the extra drives will appear in your searches. Now, you can also add network drives to the Vista search index, as long as the drive is a mapped drive. Note that turning on the indexing in Vista is a great way to find files quickly and I would suggest keeping it on all the time. However, you may want to turn it off if your computer seems to be running slow.

Either way, this is an easy way to make your Vista searching even easier!

Good Morning India!

Wolves

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice... "Let me tell you a story."
"I too, at times, have felt great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times. "
"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."
"But...the other wolf... Ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing."
"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather ?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

Good Morning India!

A Millionaire & Three Beggers

There was a good-natured millionaire in the town. Three beggars thought of approaching him for help. The first man went to the millionaire and said: "O Lord! I want five rupees. Please give me." The millionaire was taken aback at this man's impudence. "What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away," he said. The man went away with the two rupees.
The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: "Oh Lord! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me."
"How much do you want?" asked the millionaire."Whatever you give me, Maharaj," replied the beggar.
"Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days." The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note.
The third beggar came. "Oh Lord, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth," he said.
"Please sit down," said the millionaire. "You appear to be tired. Please take this food," he said, and offered food to the beggar."Now please tell me what I can do for you."
"Oh Lord," replied the beggar; "I merely came to meet such a noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!"
But the millionaire, struck by the beggar's spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.
God is like this good millionaire. Three classes of people approach Him, with three different desires and prayers. There is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of worldly enjoyment from God. Since this man, whatever be his vile desires, has had the good sense to approach God, He grants him some part of the desired objects (even these very soon pass away, just as the two rupees the first beggar got are spent before nightfall).
The other type of devotee prays to the Lord for relief from the sufferings of the world, but is better than the first one, in as much as he is ready to abide by His Will. To him the Lord grants full relief from suffering, and bestows on him much wealth and property.
The third type he merely prays to the Lord: "O Lord, Thou art Existence-Absolute, Knowledge-Absolute, Bliss-Absolute, etc., etc." What does he want? Nothing. But the Lord is highly pleased with his spirit of renunciation, of desirelessness and of self-surrender. Therefore, He makes him eat His own food, I.e., He grants this man Supreme Devotion to Himself. Over and above this, He makes the devotee to live in His own House For ever afterwards this devotee dwells in the Lord's Abode as a Liberated Sage

Good Morning India!

Bhagavadgita

An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson.
Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavat Geeta. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.
One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Geeta just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Geeta do?"
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."
The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.
This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.
The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!" >
"So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.
"Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavat Geeta. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives."